Review: Novoměstská Kavárna

It's always ideal to find a restaurant both cheap and cheerful. Novoměstská kavárna, a café tucked away in the courtyard of the New Town Hall just off Karlovo náměstí, is at least cheap, but the cheer is certainly of the bring-your-own variety, as servers seemed harried and forgetful with even just a few tables to tend. As long as you go there with zero expectations of food quality - say, perhaps, if you've already eaten - it can be an enjoyable place to escape the crowds of Vodičkova street and sip a cold beer in peace.

The courtyard garden that the café inhabits is a realm of quietude, with leafy coverings and a view of the gables and fountain of the town hall. The entrance is through a stone archway, from which one can glimpse the slightly raised wooden deck that makes up Novoměstská kavárna's terrace. It's shaded (and shielded) by several large shrubs, so even with a street-side sign advertising minutky (readymade meals) and cheap pizzas, on several recent visits the place was far from crowded.

That's not to say seats were available, though. On a first attempt, a waitress informed us the whole terrace was booked for a party and watched sternly as we downed a quickly ordered beer in the summer heat. We called ahead the next time, only to be told the place was booked out for a wedding (the namesake New Town Hall is popular for civil ceremonies). Finally, on two early weekday visits, we were able to sit down outside for a meal. Granted, we could have sat inside, but the dining room, a dead ringer for a communist-era canteen, wasn't as appealing.

The laid-back, budget meals that Novoměstská kavárna advertised had been intriguing: Czech staples like řízek and fried cheese and some basic grilled meats, all for comfortably under 100 Kč. Pizzas, too, were well-priced, but were some of the worst in town, harking to bygone days when pizza was more an idea than a recipe, and any circular dough with ketchup on it (here's looking at you, ubiquitous and loathsome langoš) was acceptable. Indeed, the dough - the premade, rolled-up kind intended for strudels - was straight from the supermarket. Ketchup, sliced salami and ham, and grated and melted eidam (not to mention some sprinkled chili flakes) completed the failed experiment, which surprisingly wasn't completely inedible, but was a very loose interpretation of the term "pizza."

The items that stuck to local cuisine fared better, being still mostly forgettable but at least inoffensive and succeeding in what they claimed to be. The "natural" chicken steak, grilled with crushed peppercorns, was the best of the sampled bunch. It had been pounded flat, but was still juicy, and the pepper added a nice touch to the summery staple, while some scattered chili flakes were, in this instance, a nice touch. A side of roasted potatoes was different sized and included a few rotten bits, implying they were freshly made but not weeded, and the chunks tasted pretty bland and out of the freezer. A nice edible garnish of cucumber slices, tomato wedges and yellow pepper rings gave some color and a bit of freshness to the plate.

Devil's toast, listed under starters but ideal for a light bite, was also just all right. The same chili flakes carried a bit of heat, which was tiresome by then. Chewy slivers of pork tasted of salty soy sauce, and slices of onion and red pepper tasted pretty much the same. The fried toast was greasy and unwieldy, at once hard to pick up by hand and also difficult to spear with enough toppings for a bite.

A "Caesar" salad was also a huge disappointment. Apparently, just as anyone with a circle and some red sauce can say "pizza," so can anyone with some vegetables and pieces of chicken call their salad a "Caesar." This imposter was merely a poorly disguised šopský salad, without the cheese, topped with damp croutons and puckeringly salted bites of chewy chicken. There was no dressing, and chomping through bite after bite of diced bell peppers quickly got boring. The price of 89 Kč, which on the menu had seemed a bargain, was not.

The daily menu sampled on one visit was decent, although the included dessert was never served; instead, we were given the bill and a discouraging look. For 89 Kč, however, the daily menu is supposed to feature the soup of the day, choice of a (usually fried) main and a small cake.

The leek soup, part of the special, was fine but not great; the leek rings floated in the slightly creamy broth and would have been better blended together. A lunch entrée of fried pangas - a cheap imported fish that often a gets a bad rap, possibly deserved -  came in an egg batter that disguised the faint flavor of the white fish. The whole thing was barely distinguishable from the boiled potatoes on the side.

At least the beer, Gambrinus (24 Kč) or Pilsner (31 Kč), was cold. Sometimes, especially considering the dearth of quiet places downtown with good prices, that can be enough. If that's all you're looking for, you may be in luck.

Fiona Gaze can be reached at
fgaze@praguepost.com