Mediocre melodrama

There is something vaguely admirable about Woody Allen's passé approach to filmmaking. As dependable as the tides, the prolific writer/director dashes off a new movie with each passing year, never stopping long enough even to review his finished work before moving on to the next project. When he doesn't have a fresh idea for a script, he pulls an old screenplay off the shelf (as with 2009's sickly Whatever Works), wrangles up some actors, chooses from a handful of metropolitan locations worldwide, shoots on a tight schedule with a modest budget, collects his fixed per-film fee, engages in a bit of limited promotion upon the film's release, and then begins the cycle all over again.     

Allen's evident artistic integrity is beyond reproach, but the result of his ceaseless, compulsive activity is a filmography that is notoriously spotty. You Will Meet a Tall Dark Stranger qualifies as still more evidence of Allen's flippant inattention to detail and aesthetic considerations.

Fans of the director don't need to be told he's capable of great wit and psychological insight, but this latest dud observes the characteristic assemblage of neurotics from a distance. Even more than usual, Allen's characters are mere constructs. Their fates are as predictable as ever, and despite some strong performances, it is difficult to identify with or care about anyone onscreen.

Josh Brolin is Ray, a failed writer in an unhappy marriage with Sally (Naomi Watts), who, ambitious and dissatisfied, spends much of the film weighing the pros and cons of having an affair with her boss (Antonio Banderas). Ray falls in love with a new neighbor (Freida Pinto), whom he convinces to break off her pending engagement. Meanwhile, Sally's parents have split and are pursuing new lives and loves of their own. Her father (Anthony Hopkins) is in the grips of a major life crisis, a feverish predicament that involves obsessive tanning, workouts and sports cars, culminating in his engagement to a prostitute. Sally's mother, Helena (Gemma Jones), is a nervous wreck, drinking too much and seeking solace in the prattling of a self-proclaimed psychic.

Needless to say, things end poorly for nearly everyone involved. Allen's typical cynicism about romance and human nature is on full display. For the most part, however, the spectacle of foolish people behaving self-destructively lacks the requisite bite to render it either amusing or engaging.

Unlike some of Allen's better recent work (2005's Match Point, 2006's Scoop and 2008's Vicky Cristina Barcelona), Tall Dark Stranger lacks a fresh perspective and fails to accomplish much else other than recycling long-since exhausted themes, gimmicks and plot points.

Helena is ostensibly the beating heart of the film, which opens and closes with her. She is the only character that finds anything like happiness. One of the central problems with the script is that the central character is the battiest and least likable figure. It's almost as though Allen is attempting to have a laugh at the audience's expense.

As with most of his movies, Allen's film is very well cast. Brolin doesn't shrink from playing a narcissistic, artistically impotent, suspended adolescent. Watts is unself-consciously shallow, and Banderas manages to keep a straight face while portraying an ultra-attractive and charming gallery owner and philanderer. Hopkins is hilarious as the bumbling, youth-obsessed idiot. But casting isn't everything, and virtually every other aspect of the filmmaking is subpar.

Allen aficionados (and despite the sentiments above, I count myself among their number) are accustomed to weathering duds in the interest of witnessing the director at his best. As far as that goes, this latest is a small price to pay for the many excellent films we've had access to over the years. One can only hope that Allen has a few more redeeming pictures up his sleeve.

James Walling can be reached at
jwalling@praguepost.com