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July 20th, 2008
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Take me out to a ball game

April 16th, 2008 issue

By Dave Faries and Rachel Shimp

Staff Writers

Boswell once suggested that time itself begins on baseball’s opening day.

OK, so it wasn’t the famous Boswell, but some American guy named Thomas. Still, no “opening day” arrives with as much anticipation or compels such buoyant optimism as that of baseball.
It’s not so much the game itself that invigorates the soul, but the change of seasons. With baseball comes warmth, green fields and long summer days — and a good excuse to wile away an afternoon guzzling beer.
So time, spring, the first beer under the sun and a baseball game all converged at Krč over the weekend, when the umpire pointed and Matěj Hušek of Krč Altron stepped into his wind-up.
Of course, we kind of missed the thrilling convergence, experiencing instead the windswept joy of the Budějovická bus stop along with a few other sluggish fans. Then our designated gofers returned, empty-handed, from a third-inning beer run, denying another long-awaited rite.
Seems the pub’s keg had gurgled to a stop moments before. It would require, bartenders explained, a half-hour to tap a fresh one.
Oh, well — as the late, great Humphrey Bogart said, “a hotdog at the ballpark beats roast beef at the Ritz.” Just order a hotdog and … nope, a misguided fan (a presumption based on her Yankees hat) gobbled up the last on hand and a staff member casually reached up to cross it from the menu.
Hmm. Wonder if Bogie would make the same claim about a plate of goulash at the old ballpark?
America’s version of baseball plays out in garish palaces of consumption: brick and steel nostalgia, flashy big-screen video presentations, popular music blaring to cover quiet moments. U.S. fans willingly shell out $10 for one beer (it’s 20 Kč at Krč) and another $8 for a hotdog (15 Kč here, until the Yankees fan scarfs them up). Modern stadiums resemble Pottery Barn, Xbox and Dave & Busters rolled into one artificial haven. They seemingly exist to distract fans from the game, from the glow of a summer evening, and to manipulate emotions.
The atmosphere on opening day in Prague is a little less distracting.
For entertainment between innings, the public address announcer pays homage to musical curiosities. At one point, he aired an unreasonable facsimile of Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody,” with a Central European vocalist straining to mimic Freddie Mercury’s tortured soprano. Long about the middle of the game, Vanilla Ice’s classic “Ice, Ice Baby” crackled over the speakers.
That’s probably what caused one startled fan to stumble as he returned from the pub, losing his shoe but saving the beer … although a certain Prague Post employee actually began singing along, much to the dismay of, well, just about everybody.
As for the game, Krč took the season opener from cross-town rivals, the Tempo Titans, 6-1. Afterward, the home squad’s veteran first baseman Jan Homolka grinned like a little boy and gestured toward the sun. “It’s a beautiful day,” he gleamed, as if nothing could be better.
Over in the visitor’s dugout, a loose dog added insult to the loss by piddling on the concrete floor, causing players to hurriedly scoop up equipment.
Tempo’s Jiří Drha sat on one end of the bench, staring out across the green expanse of the outfield. “Tomorrow,” he finally decided — “maybe tomorrow will be better.” At least by then, the little puddle will have dried up.
So the beginning comes to an end. The anticipation of opening day yields to the repetition of baseball’s long season.
And everyone strolls over to the pub for another round.
The writers can be reached at features@praguepost.com


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