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December 5th, 2008
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Fallen goddess

New Town's Afrodite is no beauty
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By Dave Faries
Staff Writer, The Prague Post
January 30th, 2008 issue

Afrodite

Štěpánská 18 (Amarilis Hotel)
Prague 1–New Town
Tel. 222 748 111
Open daily 11 a.m.–3 p.m., 5 p.m.–10 p.m.

Food 0
Service *
Atmosphere *
Overall *

Jan Přerovský/THE PRAGUE POST
Reflecting on a morning's work: Breakfast leftovers line Afrodite's wall.
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FROM THE MENU

Tzatziki 55 Kč
Fried eggplant 90 Kč
Dolmades 90 Kč
Baby octopus 160 Kč
Souvlaki 220 Kč
Greek steak 260 Kč
Stuffed chicken 220 Kč
Ouzo 60 Kč

When a restaurant posts the phrase “Greek specialties” under an immortal goddess, what would you expect to find?
Tzatziki, of course — a favorite condiment of rich, tacky yogurt, one edge sharpened, the other mellowed by additions of garlic and cucumber. Only at Afrodite it’s an insecure mass, short on the garlic. As a result, it lolls around in a mellow ennui, almost imploring the chef for a lashing of bitterness, something to underscore the tart and sweet elements. Even worse, the kitchen shows little respect for tradition, dumping this sop on the table alongside a plate of “couvert” white bread instead of pita.
And definitely souvlaki, right? Skewered meat, often bathed in tzatziki and served with pita, could be considered a national obsession. A staple at Greek restaurants and street stalls alike, it’s tender, fatty, dusky and tart, all at the same time.
Well, not always. At this New Town hotel’s backroom restaurant, souvlaki resembles clay left far too long in some fiery art-class kiln. Gray-brown bricks of pork threaten to bend forks, shred knife blades and tear straining deltoids. Heavy salt and a scattering of tired onions fail badly in their effort to revive the fossilized skewers.  
How about moussaka? Once again, not at less-than-mighty Afrodite.
What makes the restaurant’s commitment to underachievement so disappointing is that Prague’s hotels house some of the city’s better dining rooms. Places like Alcron, Essensia, CzecHouse, Coda, Hradčany, Allegro — these are not standalone kitchens, dependent on food service to turn a profit. Instead, they lean on hotel finances to survive downturns while maintaining quality.
But Afrodite doesn’t bother to fit in with this crowd. At dinnertime, containers partially filled with corn flakes and empty serving trays from the breakfast buffet still hold center stage. Service teeters between Jerry Lewis-style ineptness — our waiter almost stumbled onto the table once, and on another occasion reached across me, his armpit inches from my nose — and traditional Czech diffidence. And large portions of the menu listings are devoted to items only vaguely Greek, if at all.
You might expect to find the same stuffed chicken at Denny’s (Denny was the god of truck stops in Hesiod’s Theogony, I believe). The flesh is juicy, but the treatment otherwise rather pedestrian, relying heavily on salt.
Steak seasoned with “Greek spices” fares better — a mediocre cut prepared with care. While the meat only approaches the visceral experience desired from a hunk of red meat, it’s still very tender and easily satisfies. Salt again defines the seasoning, but in a calmer form and backed, this time, by denser flavors.
Greek restaurants are scattered across the city: Kavala in Prague 6, the popular Žižkov venue, Olympus and newly planted Delphi, along the river in Prague 4. There’s no question that this part of New Town could also use a good Greek outpost, but Afrodite can’t even get decent dolmades together.
Its version of stuffed grape leaves turns moist, but with shockingly sour leaves around pasty goo — arguably rice, but perhaps wet, chunky caulk. The unsupportive sauce resembles lemon curd salted down to wash out acidic flavors. Or perhaps it’s a metaphor for the taste of the Aegean’s foamy seas at the goddess’s birth, bubbling furiously after Cronus’ dastardly hack job.
Although I somehow doubt the chef went to all that trouble.
The fried eggplant and zucchini appetizer looks trouble-free: prefabricated, perfectly even slices coated lightly by a tepid batter. The former hits your palate with an aggressive pungent strike, then fades into nothingness. The zucchini starts there — and remains. Baby octopus at least presents an interesting, smoky flavor, if your jaw can stand the workout. Chewing through rubber can be taxing, you know.
The gods that watched over ancient Greece were prone to family spats. I think, however, the entire lot would agree on this one: Afrodite’s isn’t so beautiful, after all.

Dave Faries can be reached at dfaries@praguepost.com


Other articles in Night & Day (30/01/2008):

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