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Holiday blues bring a chill to many expats

Counselors see a rise in foreign clients at the end of the year

By Tinuola Awopetu
For The Prague Post
December 19th, 2007 issue

Ideally, the holidays are a time for gathering with loved ones and feelings of goodwill. But for some foreigners living in Prague, the season to be jolly can be a distinctly unhappy one.

“When the holidays come, I just want to run away,” says Usako, a 29-year-old accounting manager from Japan and a two-year Prague resident. And she’s far from alone. The “holiday blues,” a seasonal phenomenon often characterized by anxiety and despondency, can torpedo for many what should be an idyllic period.

“The holiday blues tend to occur anywhere from the end of November through the beginning of January,” says Gail Whitmore, a clinical psychotherapist based in Prague. “The feelings are very similar to those of depression, the main difference being duration.”

Causes of yuletide funk run the gamut from anxiety over travel plans and gift shopping to weightier issues such as loneliness, loss, problems at work, or unfulfilled goals.

Expats—particularly those who would like to visit home but can’t—can be especially vulnerable because of challenges that come with living in a foreign country, namely distance from loved ones and cultural adjustments. The cold weather and shorter, darker days that typify the season don’t help matters, especially for those already prone to Seasonal Affective Disorder.

Whitmore and other psychotherapists that cater to the expat population in Prague say they see an obvious increase in the number of people seeking counseling as the end of year approaches.

“Very often one of the reasons people come to us is that they are having sleep problems—too little or too much of it,” says Craig McNulty, a psychotherapist and head of the City Practice counseling center. “Then they complain of a general feeling of fatigue and anxiety, fear that they’re doing badly at work. Without family and close friends to confide in they start feeling that they are in real trouble.”

David, an Irish technical consultant in his early 40s, can relate to such scenarios.

“I went from sleeping less than four hours to sleeping 12 or more hours a day,” he says of holidays past. “The quality of my work nose-dived, which stressed me out even more. I was undereating. The cold, grey weather didn’t help either.”

David, who has lived in Prague for three years, shied away from turning to friends for solace; his depression was so palpable, he says, that he suspected friends did not want to be around him. Similarly, Usako has always kept her low moods private for fear of passing the gloom on to others.

“I don’t want to make my friends sad,” she says. “I help them with their problems, but I just can’t talk about mine.”

Experts say feelings of shame are common among those with the holiday blues. Sufferers tend to fear that they’re not coping well compared to friends and co-workers who appear content. As a result, they limit interaction with others and suffer in silence.

But Whitmore says isolation —along with turning to drugs or alcohol—is the wrong approach to holiday depression.

“A person in pain is not doing themselves any favors by remaining silent,” she says. “If you feel that what you’re going through may be too much for your friends or family to handle, then professional help is absolutely available.”

For those still new to Prague, McNulty recommends surrounding themselves with the familiar—going to cafes where other expats congregate, for example.

Whitmore organizes a party on Christmas day for expats who might otherwise stay home alone and welcomes anyone interested in attending to contact her through her website. (www.counselinginprague.com)

Belle McDonnell, a local psychotherapist and five-year Prague resident, also encourages seeking out public places like Christmas markets, recitals, churches or volunteer activities that lead to contact with people.

“Try to connect with others in a meaningful way,” she says, "and remember that the holiday blues don’t last forever.”

Tinuola Awopetu can be reached at news@praguepost.com

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