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November 22nd, 2008

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'Miss Manners' for everyday use

New etiquette book a boon to socialites and average Joes alike

By Markéta Hulpachová
Staff Writer, The Prague Post
August 29th, 2007 issue

Jan Přerovský/THE PRAGUE POST

What's one of the worst social faux pas? Mixing foods on a buffet plate, says author Eva Filipová. enlarge

COURTESY PHOTO

Filipová got promotion help from singer Hana Zagorová and Roman Catholic priest Zbigniew Czendlik. enlarge

The Filipová File

Age: 50
Birthplace: Počátky, south Bohemia
Family: Married, daughter Eva
Books published: Four
Prizes won at golf
tournaments: 30

To Eva Filipová, 1989 did not only mark the end of the totalitarian regime, but also the beginning of a social revolution.

After decades of seclusion, the sheltered Czech populace was reunited with the rest of the world, and 32-year-old Filipová was swept into a whirlwind of soirees, mixers and galas. But as she commingled with the liberated nation’s new elite, she observed that something was amiss.

“I realized that the women, most of who were not used to attending these social events, had a problem with how to act properly, and that I had it, too,” she says.

As she lounges in the “orangerie,” a pastel-walled sunroom adjacent to a five-star restaurant in one of Prague’s swankiest hotels, gingerly sipping out of a tiny cup of macchiato, the idea that this bright-eyed, smartly dressed woman once felt flustered about her lack of social skills seems far-fetched.

The author of three cookbooks, an expert on proper manners and the hostess of some of the town’s most talked-about parties, Filipová is Prague’s authority on all things associated with high society: proper etiquette, fine food and golf.

Yet, when the physical therapist left her job at the rehabilitation medicine clinic at the Vinohrady Hospital nearly 20 years ago, she had no idea she was opening the doors to high society. When applying for the position of fitness-center director at the newly opened Hotel Fórum (now Corinthia Towers), she first crossed paths with her husband, Jan Filip, the hotel’s general manager.

“I remember leaving the interview and thinking that this person is going to seriously complicate my life,” Filipová says.

Hotel Fórum introduced Filipová to the hospitality industry. After 1988, she began traveling to hospitality events throughout the world, accompanying her husband, who was president of the National Hotel and Restaurant Federation from 1994 to 1996 and 2000 to 2002. It was at these banquets, receptions and balls that Filipová began thinking about etiquette education.

“All of these events required lots of social mingling. That was the toughest school for me,” she says. “I realized that etiquette was a basic thing that many people had problems with. When you know how to act, it adds to your self-confidence — you begin to act natural, which is very liberating.”

Months after the 1989 revolution, Filipová began organizing etiquette courses in the hotel.

“There was a lady from Germany who lectured about self-confidence, an expert on proper nutrition, a maitre d’ who taught table manners. I tried to get the top authorities in each field,” she says.

As one of the first social courses of its kind, the lectures drew a sundry crowd of pupils. “It was everyone from entrepreneurs’ wives and doctors to managers,” Filipová says. “Women from the country would travel to Prague to take the course.”

The lectures would often result in positive psychological, as well as physical, transformations.

“It felt really good to see the change in these women who weren’t used to spending much time on themselves,” Filipová says. “There were women whose marriages were falling apart, and they came to the course to get enough self-confidence and save their relationship.”

In 1993, Filipová began writing a weekly column on social etiquette for the daily newspaper Telegraf, which was later syndicated by several national newspapers and magazines. Eleven years later, Filipová’s collection of etiquette advice fused into Společenská nápověda (Social Prompts), a pocket-size handbook giving readers tactful advice on everything from white-tie events to toothpick use.

“It wouldn’t hurt if we all did a little bit more to adhere to the etiquette code,” she says. “We all have some deficiency, but some are more visible than others.”

The most critical faux pas are usually made at the table, particularly at buffet-style receptions, where “people will often mix foods on their plates that have no business being next to each other. The topper is when they mix sweets with main courses — it’s disgusting,” Filipová says.

Aside from messy plates, partygoers are often plagued by an inappropriate choice of attire. According to Filipová, this problem is specific to men.

“Women have more leeway in terms of what they can get away with wearing,” she says. “Men, on the other hand, have fairly strict rules. I often see that they are underdressed for the occasion.”

Yet even if a man finds himself at a ball wearing Bermuda shorts and streaking bouillabaisse down his neighbor’s tailcoat, all can be saved, Filipova says, if he maintains a pleasant demeanor. While undoubtedly the most elemental rule of etiquette, it is one Czechs most frequently disregard, and few experiences illustrate this inadequacy better than a ride on public transportation, Filipová says. “People should be more considerate of each other, especially on the metro. Sometimes they miss such basic concepts as proper hygiene, never mind things like helping the elderly.”

After years of navigating through a surfeit of social obligations, Filipová asserts that mastering the art of social etiquette requires nothing but common sense. Golf, however, can get far more complicated, she says. When first introduced to the sport on a Florida golf course, Filipová approached the green with suspicion.

“I didn’t know how to play at all — I thought golf was an old people’s sport,” she says, and playing the game did not alleviate her apprehension: Her first tournament, held at the Royal Golf Club in the west Bohemian spa town of Mariánské Lázně, earned her the last-place consolation prize.

Vowing to “never again” subject herself to the embarrassment of being singled out as the worst player, Filipová started practicing her swing, gradually molding herself into a serious golfer. Thirteen years of training have borne their fruit, she says — at her most recent tournament, the Jágr Team Golf Cup (sponsored by hockey player Jaromír Jágr), she was the victor in the first category.

“The competition was tough,” she says with a proud smile. “I was competing against some very ambitious hockey players.”

But, for Filipová, golf is not a sport based around rivalry.

“I’ve made many connections through golf,” she says. “When you’re out on the course with someone all day, both your minds are focused on the same thing. You form a whole different kind of friendship.”

Though her travels have taken her to golf courses in South Africa, Malaysia and Thailand, Filipová still pledges allegiance to the fir-rimmed course in Mariánské Lázně. “Golf has a long tradition there, and the course has a great atmosphere,” she says. To commemorate the club’s centennial anniversary in July, Filipová and her husband asked a friend to invite England’s Prince Edward, whose grandfather founded the course. “I’d never seen so many paparazzi in my life,” she says.

Aside from regions like Mariánské Lázně, where the sport was popular due to its proximity to the course, golf was traditionally played in closed circles of Czech society. According to Filipová, its penetration into the mainstream is fairly recent.

“There’s a big golf boom right now. People are beginning to perceive golf differently,” she says. “It’s not just a ‘sport for snobs’ anymore.”

The urge to reduce the snobbishness of what she considers some of life’s most enjoyable activities inspired Filipová to write her latest book. In an effort to bring the fine-dining experience to the local masses, Filipová collaborated with some of Prague’s most renowned chefs to create Excellent Menu, a collection of five-star restaurant recipes.

By creating a showcase of the country’s gastronomical expertise, which she says has substantially improved since 1989, Filipová sought “to show the world that the Czechs know damned well how to cook.”

The most challenging part of the enterprise was to make the recipes sound approachable, she says.

“Chefs have a tendency to assume that everything is crystal clear, because cooking comes naturally to them. I wanted to make [the recipes] usable for normal people.”

After a year of meticulous compilation, Excellent Menu hit the bookstores in December 2006. Naturally, this called for celebration.

“The christening of the book was a grand event,” Filipová says. “We had actors, athletes, journalists, politicians. … Anyone who’s anyone in Prague was there.”

Her parties are often attended by recognizable public officials, including President Václav Klaus, but Filipová shrinks from the society of political figures.

“I don’t dance with politicians,” she jokes, alluding to the title of a popular 1990s TV show. Like many Czechs, she, too, is disillusioned with the domestic political scene. “The political garniture should exhibit a bit more responsibility. There’s been enough comedy already,” she says.

While devoid of politicians, Filipová’s circle of famous friends includes performing artists such as world-class tenor Štefan Margita, singer Michal David and pop star Hana Zagorová.

“Eva is a person with whom you know where you stand,” Margita says. “You know immediately whether or not she likes you.”

Markéta Hulpachová can be reached at mhulpachova@praguepost.com

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