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Cosmic letdown

A special effects epic that never becomes special
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By Frank Kuznik
Staff Writer, The Prague Post
July 18th, 2007 issue

COURTESY PHOTO
Between a thing and a hard place. A rare moment of drama in this dastardly film.
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Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer

Directed by Tim Story
With Ioan Gruffudd, Jessica Alba, Chris Evans, Michael Chiklis, Julian McMahon, Doug Jones

In March 1966, the Fantastic Four were on a roll. The stars of “The World’s Greatest Comic Magazine,” as it was billed, had matured from cardboard comic-book heroes into real-life characters of depth and complexity, fighting with each other and their own inner demons as much as they battled super-villains. Even the villains had Shakespearian dimensions, with the mad Maximus determined to overthrow his brother Black Bolt, the rightful ruler of The Inhumans, and destroy the human race.
The FF had barely averted that crisis when issue No. 48 changed the course of comic book history. “The Coming of Galactus” introduced the Silver Surfer, a tragic figure who roamed the universe in search of living planets that would satisfy the hunger of his master, Galactus. The Earth was in the crosshairs, but, after some time among humans, the Surfer decided we were a noble and courageous race worth saving. In an unthinkable, Promethean-like move, he dared to defy Galactus, setting off a clash of cosmic proportions with the planet’s fate hanging in the balance.
Very little of this has made its way into the new Fantastic Four movie, and, for those of us who grew up on Marvel Comics, it’s another sad case of a film not measuring up to the book. The screenwriters have copped the characters and some of the best licks from the source material, but recast them in a tepid sci-fi adventure drained of imagination, suspense and thrills. Most moviegoers won’t see anything but another lame summer movie not even worthy of its teenage target audience. But a tiny percentage will regret a squandered opportunity to produce something genuinely interesting.
It’s not hard to see why the film has garnered mostly negative reviews. The acting is wooden, the dialogue insipid and the editing and pacing amateurish. Worst of all, it refuses to play on its main strength: superheroes and cosmic villains. Nearly 30 minutes into the movie, hardly anyone has used a super power. Instead, the story is about the coming wedding of Mr. Fantastic, Reed Richards, and the Invisible Girl, Sue Storm, and it’s handled with all the finesse and intelligence of an American television sitcom. Which is to say, it’s trite and boring.
Things pick up when the Silver Surfer finally appears, but, after an exciting chase sequence with the Human Torch, the Surfer disappears for an extended game of hide-and-seek while our heroes fume over a PG version of the old coitus interruptus gag, as Sue and Reed’s wedding is postponed. The stage is set for an incredible showdown, but instead we get the Torch and the Thing trying to sort out the FF’s personal problems over beers in a dart bar.
When they finally get down to business, the cosmic encounter has been reduced to a snarling match between our heroes and an overbearing U.S. military officer, the kind of stock Hollywood character who would never have appeared in the original comics. The reappearance of Victor von Doom, the FF’s arch-enemy from their first film, livens things up a bit, though ultimately he’s squandered as well. The idea of him stealing the Silver Surfer’s powers was good for a cliffhanging three-issue miniseries in the original comics; here it’s reduced to a late subplot that only detracts from the main story line.
But the greatest disappointment is saved for last. It’s giving nothing away to reveal that when Galactus finally shows up for doomsday, it’s in the form of a cloud — granted, a really big cloud, but a cloud nonetheless. So all the drama of the Surfer confronting a ravenous, godlike humanoid is gone, and we’re left wondering why he’s a slave to a big ball of space gas (though, to judge from the ending, that’s being saved for a sequel).
Is this a lot of complaining over a trifle? Yes, but it’s worth noting that the most successful Marvel movie outings so far (the first X-Men and Spider-Man films barring the third enstallment) have stayed most closely to the original material. The movies featuring DC comic-book characters (Superman, Batman) have always been hollow at the center because they never took their subjects seriously, nudging and winking at the audience as a rotating cast of big-name celebrities camped up the superhero roles. Marvel has been much more protective of its characters, and when they came to life in a serious and authentic manner onscreen, it thrilled hard-core fans and resulted in critical and commercial hits.
This movie aspires to be in that league, but ends up being just another formula Hollywood special-effects extravaganza. Next time, the screenwriters should read the book — even if it is only a comic book.
    

Frank Kuznik can be reached at fkuznik@praguepost.com


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