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Around Town

City Hall: No TV?

By Hela Balínová
Staff Writer, The Prague Post
March 28th, 2007 issue

Unveiling a secret operation always attracts the attention of both the media and the public. Citizens long to read about an avenger who punishes evil in the name of law.

In our story, Prague Mayor Pavel Bém plays the role of this superhero and his secret operation carries code name “The Mirror.” (OK, in reality, it was an audit of City Hall’s communication skills, conducted Feb. 12–

March 16 by an independent private firm, Westminster … but let’s let the mayor have his moment anyway.)

Only two people in Prague (aside from some actors) knew about this operation until now: Bém and Tomáš Studeník, director of Westminster. Both had agreed to strict secrecy so that employees at City Hall would not notice anything unusual.

The results were announced March 21 at the elegant Café Louvre. Reporters were welcomed by the sounds of an old typewriter and a fired-up espresso maker, the former coming from the ancient machine of a civil servant at a table, where he was instructing everyone twice to fill out the registration form in readable handwriting. When mine finally proved legible enough, I received a PC flash drive with the press materials and pad with the logo of City Hall on it — making for a slight inconsistency if Bém was trying to convey a modern communications theme.

The mayor arrived 30 minutes late, something spokesman Jiří Wolf said happens regularly. The mayor spoke of a dream of modern, friendly city officials. He said he played a little trick on his inferiors and sent specially trained auditors to find out what impression city clerks make on the average Praguer who is trying to deal with an ordinary problem — for example, applying for a new ID card, known as an občanka to Czechs.

If you happened to be at City Hall yourself in mid-March and noticed a fretting father figure, an effusive gay man, an impatient businessmen or a melancholy intellectual next to you in line, you were probably standing next to one of the secret auditors. These were some of the roles the auditors were supposed to play.

For the difficult parts, novice or unknown actors were hired. But, even so, one turned out a bit too well known and nearly blew his cover.

His report:

“I knocked at the office door but there was no response.

“I knocked again with the same result. So I entered the office where the clerk was just watching a small portable TV. She started to talk to me but her eyes were glued to the screen. A minute later she yelled out, ‘That’s you,’ pointing her finger at the TV.

“ ‘Yep, it’s me,’ I replied.”

It was a small miracle the operation resulted in no deaths or injuries, as another actor revealed. This one, pretending to be a doctor, went to City Hall to ask about space to set up his practice. After a clerk learned his profession, the man was asked to check out the inflamed throat of her colleague, who was convinced she had tonsillitis.

The official lessons from this were not exactly shocking: 1) If you want an effective response, go to City Hall in person. 2) Clerks are not proactive (meaning, apparently, they forget about you the moment you close the door to their office and struggle with “burn-out” syndrome.)

Bém, as a noble leader, repeatedly tried to apologize for his flock. Yes, he agreed, you can have a TV in your office. Why not? Just don’t watch it during working hours. (What’s the point of having it there, then?)

And those without any visible work on their desk should take comfort too, he added. If your desk is covered with paper, after all, it means you’re just pretending to work to show your colleagues how busy you are.

Pavlína Danková, star of TV Nova’s Občanské judo, a show aimed at helping citizens deal with corrupt officials and sleazy companies, countered the mayor on this point, interestingly enough. In her experience, clerks with perfectly organized desks are usually the worst ones.

One wonders in what state Bém has left his own, now that he’s off to climb Mt. Everest.

Hela Balínová can be reached at hbalinova@praguepost.com

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