He maintained his relaxed but fatherly pose he was sure he'd seen in The Dirty Dozen — or was it, The Guns of Navarone? — and continued. Where was that riding crop he'd been looking for all morning?

In any case, he'd been working on the speech all night and had it pretty much down.

"Now some of you are probably wondering why you've been assembled here," said Klaus, never one to miss a good cliché.

"Well, I'll tell you. The government considers you a bunch of expendable, untrainable, undisciplined losers. Which is precisely why you were chosen for this mission."

As the assembled ministers began shifting in their seats and eyeing the door, Klaus hesitated for a moment. "No, wait — woops! That's from a movie I just saw. Sorry, it just slipped out. What I meant to say was that you guys, and you too, Kopicová, are the best and brightest of the Civic Democrats ... and, um, a few other parties who know how to play ball with the ODS.

"That's why you were chosen for this mission. Frankly, it's suicide run. Only the bravest, craziest, hard-drinking, womanizing — except for you, Kopicová — crew in this war would take on such a job. Your odds of coming out alive are practically nil. Your instructions from me don't officially exist. Your training is to be minimal, and so are your resources. You'll be relying on two things: Your wits and your teamwork."

Reflecting on that for a minute, Klaus' confidence began to ebb slightly. Quickly he summoned up more bravura and switched to putting the other boot on the chair.

"Now Topolánek, you're team leader. You're to keep your troops lean, mean, and in fighting shape at all times. And remember, wars are won with speed and surprise."

"Yes, sir," replied the prime minister.

"Very well," said Klaus. "Our objective is the state budget. All the other stuff, the healthcare reform, the pension adjustments for old folks, the Criminal Code, all that's just a smokescreen to keep your enemy off balance."

"Sir?"

"Yes, what is it, Langer?"

"Don't you think we have time to blow up the Information Technology Ministry, too? It seems a good target of opportunity. Nobody really understands what it does, after all ..."

"Langer, Langer. What have I told you about keeping your eye on the ball? Now we've taken heavy losses on the flat tax, morale is low over the cash registers law, which you'll recall we couldn't do a thing to change, and the business community is just about ready to change sides. Now we pass a budget that looks fiscally responsible and then see what kind of ministries we can blow up. But an A for enthusiasm, Langer."

"And you, Julínek! That stuff about the Health Ministry not returning your calls is brilliant. Best diversionary tactic I've heard of in years. Keep it coming. Now let's get out there and look sharp. Dis-missed."