Try as we might, though, stories are almost never as good as we'd like them to be. That's because, at a certain point, you just have to fire them off to the printer if the paper is to go out on time. Then you do it all over again.

Because the printer is never satiated, this is known as "feeding the beast."

Politics aren't so different except that the beast is expediency. Whatever high-flying ideas a leader has for his nation and his people, if he wants any to see the light of day he'll need to get them through Parliament, which is just a beast of a different stripe.

Perhaps humble newsies, then, can offer a tip for resolving the current government crisis. As we all know, nearly three months after the June election, Jiří Paroubek has finally ceded the position of prime minister to his rival from the Civic Democrats, Mirek Topolánek. The new PM, however, must still get his Cabinet approved by the Chamber of Deputies, which is controlled by Paroubek's Social Democrats (ČSSD).

Here, then, is The Prague Post's plan for key Cabinet posts that would sail Paroubek's Parliament, leading to a government that could finally govern. It ain't pretty, believe us, but this would get the show on the road.

1) Finance minister

Anyone who is willing to give the ČSSD total credit for a healthy economy, low interest rates and foreign investors willing to put up with almost anything to start a venture in the Czech Republic.

2) Culture minister

Someone recently embarrassed by articles on their suspicious apartment funding (no shortage of candidates there) who's willing to take the lead in dealing with writers — journalists, that is. This appointee agrees to round up the reporters Paroubek slammed on election night for criticizing his work and put them to better use, possibly cutting the lawn at Paroubek's house.

3) Interior minister

Nobody who likes techno music! Or is willing to portray festivals like CzechTek as harmless parties like the one this month. They should be shut down with extreme prejudice as threats to national security, like last year's. Also, anyone who comes forward with "witnesses" or "evidence" of corruption during Paroubek's administration is to be shown the door (after their "evidence" is taken off their hands). This candidate should also be good with a shredder.

4) Health minister

Someone who is taller and in better shape than David Rath and who could clean Miroslav Macek's clock (if needed). Let's face it, taking a slap to the back of the head at a dentists' convention as Rath did in May does not scream, "Respect and obey me." But he should not be mixing it up right before a close election. Doh!

5) Labor and social affairs minister

Someone willing to triple pensions, fork out 150,000 Kč ($6,827) in grants for every Czech child born and start the three-day work week, as long as they give due credit to the ČSSD for all the joy this causes. No, wait! This might bankrupt the state — better leave the ČSSD name off this one, actually.

6) Foreign affairs minister