One character in the remake is named Vincent, an apparent homage to '50s horror star Vincent Price. A more fitting homage would have been to hire somebody to actually write a coherent script. Instead, the story relies on the shopworn cliche of some young people taking a wrong turn on the highway and winding up in a strange town where nobody behaves normally. But first, they camp overnight in the woods and antagonize one of the bizarre locals. Clearly, none of them has seen a horror film since Deliverance, or they would spot the warning signs of danger.

Most people try to stick together after strange things start to happen. But the characters in House of Wax are all too eager to split up. They wander off in different directions so they can be killed one at a time by a maniac. The survivors go looking for them, oblivious of any danger.

As soon as the six sports fans — they are all headed to a big college game — leave the main road, their fate is clear. Still, it takes about 50 minutes for anything to actually happen. That half of the film, with its inane dialogue and snail-paced plot development, is more painful to watch than the second half with the substandard gore.

There is an explanation to all the weirdness. A sheaf of old newspaper clippings, located in a convenient drawer, helps to explain the story. Luckily, one of the lost football fans opens the drawer and has time to slowly hold the clips up to the camera while leafing through them.

The main draw of the film is Paris Hilton in a fairly major role. Unfortunately, she can't act. Her biggest claim to fame, besides inheriting a hotel fortune, is an amateur erotic videotape that was widely circulated on the Internet. A few jokes are made at the beginning of the film with one of the soon-to-be-lost people messing around with a home video camera, and Hilton objecting to being filmed while kissing. That marks the movie's high point for creativity.

Films of this sort usually have a mix of sex scenes and horror. Neither deliver in this one. Hilton strips down to her red underwear for a short time, and the other female star, Elisha Cuthbert, has to change into a tank top. But that's about it for titillation.

The horror is also a long time in coming, and it looks pretty fake by modern standards. Recent films like the remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Wrong Turn — both with the same bad–short-cut plot — have had some truly gruesome effects for gore fans. House of Wax just doesn't make its murders scary enough.